result semester 2

My semester 2 exam's result is not good...

my pointer dropped quite a bunch compared to semester 1.. well, the excuse was "semester 2 papers are hard!!!"... can be accepted..but not me... i'm not saying that i'm great or good or clever or what so ever... but i know myself well enough.. and I know why i get that kind of result.. seriously... semester 1, I was really pumped up to do the exam.. i even made short colourful notes!!! i joined study group.. i was really studying..( for certain subject only that was Linguistic ).. well, i did feel like i was facing exam that time... semester 2.... exam?? okay... answer base on what i have in my head... that's all.. i did study.. a little bit............only.... i don't know.. i just... i didn't feel like i was facing exam at all.. it was like a test to me... i wasn't serious i guess... i have never been serious for exam in my whole entire life time... that is the hardest thing for me to change... to be serious during exam... i don't know why i'm like that.. i wanted to change, but when exam comes, i'm still like that.. OH GOD!!!!! i hate myself when it comes to this.. i know i can do better but i refuse.. why?? I DON"T KNOW!!!!!

my parents did say something regarding to this.. it's not like i don't appreciate their advices, but..... urghhh!!!!! i need a kick on my butt!!

(just saying, didn't really mean it..or want it.. the kick i mean..) hurmmm... i'm going to umrah next month and of of my doa will be on my attitude in studying and facing exam... i really need to change that ASAP!!!! i realize since i was in primary school that i'm a very stubborn child... always wanting to do things that i want to do only... if i don't want to do it and i was forced to do it, i'll do it 50-50....

i want to change... I WANT TO CHANGE!!!!!

my result is not good or strong enough... i need to do better... i will try to do better next semester.. the matter of fact, I AM GOING TO DO BETTER NEXT SEMESTER!!! i need to learn to keep promises to myself.. i need to learn to put 100% effort in all my work...

Insya-Allah i can do that....