happening, tiring...lonely...weekends..

i had a very tiring weekend..but kinda ok..

well..i went from places to places in one day..

a lot of cleaning & cooking & exercising to do..

huhuhu..

my ummie bought a new apple laptop..

my dad already has his 27 inch apple komputer that cost 20K +++

then last monday i was to re-do my driving test but i forgot to re-new my L license 1st..

hhmmph..

i do have fun dis semester break..

i never get board..

always sumthing there for me to do..

tomorrow my other cousins are coming here..

azlan & lyana..

da thing is..

i prefer my life to be busy..

always doing sumthing without leaving me anytime to think about anything else other than what i'm suppose to & have to do in life..

cuz when i'm alone..this feelings keep coming back on me..

since 17th september 2009, i don't even hold my phone other than for business matter..

i don't even chat on YM if nobody buzz me..

i wanna move on..but at the same time i don't..

why do i have to go through all dis..??

why does dis even need to happen???

i thought i can handle it coz for all this time i always have positive thinking in every situation..

but this time..i think i failed myself..

i tried to understand & look beyond the things that happening in my life..

but when it comes to this feeling.....

sometimes i understand..sometimes i don't..

and right now..

i don't...

i'm not saying that i'm pretending that i'm happy right now..

i am happy..

with my family & friends of course..

they fill my life up..

but there's just something inside of me that is empty..

it was filled before..but now it's empty..

i don't know if i can manage to fill it up again the next time..

coz the filling won't be the same..

and i don't think anyone can fill it with the same filling..

ii don't think anyone can replace it..

well..

maybe there is..

i don't know..

but what i know..

it won't be the same..